having a hard time.

been having a bit of a hard time lately, had some person issues I won't go far into, but they have really stressed me and I'm pretty sure I have relapsed and have my PND back.
its weird, I find it so much easier to talk about online on a screen to imaginary people but the second it comes to saying the words out loud I just can't do it, this is my own fault as well the doctors told me to stay on my medication for atleast 6 months otherwise there is a high chance of relapsing, but they gave me panic attacks so I stopped taking them.
I've come up to my mums house and the stress I have had here from family, "friends" and men have made me feel like I've got back a year!
I have never felt so rock bottom, and what makes it worse is both the kids are going nuts at me, which is making me even worse, Connie is teething and these teeth are not wanting to come through so she is constantly sleeping, refusing to eat and screaming, thats all she does lately, and Eve!
well she's getting her last couple of teeth through, some back ones (yay ¬¬) and she is constantly screaming at me pulling my hair (she never pulls hair so this is completely new to me now :( ) just not she was throwing things at Connies face, then sat herself ontop of her, as hard as she could, then just started screaming in her ear as loud as possible obviously setting Connie off as well!!

this is one of those days I wish I wasn't single and wish I had someone here to just give me a cuddle and make me feel better and calmer.
Oh well not going to happen so all I can do now is wait to go home next week and go to the doctors and start on my medication, oh joy, can't wait to start getting the shakes in the middle of the night again -_-